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User blog:I Am A Superstar!! : )/What forever weekends means for me
So as many of you may be wondering why I am so frantic today, it's because today is day 1 of what I call, "Forever weekends," or "Permenent weekends." May 31st was my last day of school, forever. June 14 is my official graduation from everything. What does this mean for me? I am gonna be honest and tell everything, below. Well, I have looked at colleges, but as of now, NO I will not attending college anytime soon. My mom has this WHOLE issue with money, especially because I am now 18 and now that I am soon going to be no longer considered a student, that means less money for her. A lot of you may not, or may never realize what type of lifestyle I truly have here at home. It's probably not like the life YOU have at home at ALL. My mom is a single mom because my dad died when I was 9. I have NO siblings whatsoever. My mom constantly is telling me about struggling with money. I am lucky that I even have a computer. I may not even have internet soon anymore. After my dad died I had not had internet at my house for over 7 years or more. I always had to go to the public library, for like 45 mins to an hour and that was all the time I had on the internet. So now, my mom is always telling me about getting a job. Almost, NONE, I'll bet, of my friends at school have to..no...are being FORCED to help their parent/s out finacially. Imagine being 18, JUST out of high school, and you HAVE to geta job to help your mom. You get told every single day you do, "stupid" or "nonsense" things on the computer, because you ''HAVE ''to find a job. If you don't, your mom threatens saying you will have to move, or slowly you will have no money left. First you lose internet. Then the TV. Maybe even elecricity or water. She says if you don't get a job and help her out with money, you will lose everything. You cry, and sometimes maybe even want to DIE at the thought that you HAVE to do something, or you will have no life. "Stefanie, your WHOLE life is ahead of you." Really? Where the hell IS it? It's not that I don't WANT a job. I like where I live. I like who I know. I quite enjoy it most of the time. You can see on my wiki, sometimes all I ever talk about are people I know and places I go around here. I like to get out. I don't WANT to be stuck here in my house all day. Of COURSE I would rather be out somewhere. My mom is at work now so I am a little calmer. I DO love my mom, but this whole money thing, EVERY day, makes it very very difficult. When I think of getting a job, I think of it for what it's not: Somewhere to go, to get the HELL out of my house for a few hours a day. That's what school was. Now I don't have that. Hence, forever weekends. Just going out with my mom for a few hoursm shopping, then she leaves for work. But there are many hours in between that, "You need a job Stefanie! If you don't get one soon, I don't know WHAT I AM GONNA DO! I need more money coming in or we will lose everything. You need a job." OK so today, I ASKED my mom to take me to the Price Rite store in Bethlehem. Of COURSE the main reason i wanted to go was to see my fave building. If I would get a job there, heck it's so close to it! It would make me happy, plus I think Price Rite is a nice store. I like it there. Also I called one of the nursing homes I applied at, and left a message asking about my application. My mom said I did a good job on the message. Leaving messages is not something I enjoy doing so I am happy she said I did a good job. Then she says that I need to call Old Country Buffet and ask them about the one I put in. I don't WANT to randomly call them and ask them. It's JUST too much right now. She should be lucky I even asked to go to Price Rite to fill it out on the computer they have there. i did not HAVE to ask her, but I did. Imagine, going on the computer like you are now, and if you even OPEN a chat, or are scrolling though on facebook, tumblr etc etc, your mom tells you, "Get off that stupid chats! That's not important! Fill out a job application! You missed yesterday! Fill out two!" Again, I don't want you to fully HATE on my mom. It makes sense why she is so upset. She is scared. Imagine if you married the person you deeply loved, and had a child. You were so happy until, a few years later, he/she got very sick. You took care of he/her for 4 years, and then they died. Leaving you to care for your one child, alone. Your child grows up to be 18, and now what? You're losing more money. Your child kinda DOES have to get a job, so you can keep your house and pay the bills and everything else. It's not MY fault. It's not HER fault. It's just the way your life is. You're not going to college. You don't HAVE someone you can just, "move in with," and leave. You have to stay in your house, with only one of your parents, and you have to get a job and help with money. That's MY life. So if you wanna ask why I get crazy sometimes, why I cry, but NEVER tell you. It's just a ot for me to handle now. THAT is truly why I am sad I have no more school. That and other reasons I do not wish to share with everyone. Thats me. Stefanie. The girl of this wiki. I try to love life and everything the best I can, but here it is. Forever weekends. Thanks for reading. If you even did. Bye. "A chew toy!?" "It's NOT a chew toy!!" ~ I Am A Superstar!! : ) (talk) 21:12, June 3, 2013 (UTC) Category:Blog posts Category:Stefanie's Pages